Beat the Bully
by dS-Tiff
Summary: The day after the events of 'Lighthouse of the Rising Sun', Paige has been mulling over her conversation with Sylvester during the blackout and she needs a chat with Toby to sort things out in her head.


**_This is set the day after the events of S04E14 - Lighthouse of the Rising Sun. I hope you all enjoy it. All comments welcome, thank you kindly!_**

BEAT THE BULLY

"Paige, Paige!" Toby skipped over Happy's toolbox on his way to the kitchen. His eyes sparkled with excitement at the idea he'd just had. If Paige could help him out he just had to persuade Happy to go along with it and tonight would more than make up for the romantic disaster at the lighthouse. "This is gonna sound a little weird, but do you still have your waitress uniform?"

"Huh?" Paige briefly looked up at him, but almost instantly returned her attentions to the meal she was preparing for the team.

Immediately, Toby knew something was wrong. "Paige?" he said, all thoughts of his plans for the evening were pushed to the back of his mind. "You OK? And don't say 'I'm fine, Toby', because I know you're not. I just figured I'd be polite and ask anyway."

Paige swallowed hard and put down the vegetable peeler. She knew she wouldn't be able to hide her tears from Toby, but she really didn't want to trouble him with this. "You… you have enough to worry about already…" she began, but Toby cut her off.

"Not enough that I can't make room for a friend in need of some couch time," he said. He stepped closer to her, folded his arms and leaned his hip against the worktop, crossing his feet over for balance. He was concerned at Paige's troubled expression. "Talk to me," he urged.

Paige shook her head. "Not here," she whispered. She glanced over Toby's shoulder to see Sylvester and Ralph in the middle of a video game battle. Ralph's fist shot into the air in celebration as he won yet another round.

Toby turned his head to follow her gaze. "Oh," he said. "This is about what Sylvester said to you yesterday during the blackout when he called you a bully." Paige looked a little taken aback that he knew all about it. "Sly came to me this morning," Toby explained. "He figured he'd upset you."

Paige responded with a show of jazz hands. "Well, duh," she replied, her tear streaked face clearly demonstrating that Sylvester had been right.

The situation with the plane had been so urgent that she hadn't really had time to process Sylvester's words at the time, then once they'd saved the young pilot and his new girlfriend and she'd made up with Florence she was so relieved that she had spent the night snuggled in Walter's arms. Snuggling was as far as they had gone, though, with Meatball and Ralph enjoying an impromptu sleepover downstairs. At least Meatball had enjoyed it, Ralph not so much.

"Let's talk in the Airstream," said Toby and he stepped back and held out his arm, indicating for her to lead.

Paige walked quickly across the garage with Toby close behind. She hoped Sylvester wouldn't notice them, but of course very little gets past a genius and Sylvester followed them with his eyes, his heart sinking a little. He stood by every word he'd said to Paige yesterday, but perhaps he could have been a little less blunt, he thought to himself.

Toby closed the door of the Airstream behind him as Paige took a seat on one of the tatty old chairs and brushed her hair behind her ears. "I'm not a bully!" she blurted out, suddenly and her eyes filled with tears again. "I hate bullies!"

"Woah, take a breath," ordered Toby as he sat himself down opposite her. She inhaled and exhaled almost immediately. "And another one," he added flashing her a supportive smile as she complied, more slowly this time. "That's good."

Paige closed her eyes and tried to focus her thoughts.

"Do you like what I've done with the place?" joked Toby eliciting a small smile from Paige as she opened her eyes and looked around at the dated interior, making a mental note to tidy up in here more often. "Seriously, though, I've been thinking about getting a couch in here," continued Toby. "Some mood lighting, scented candles. What do you think?"

"I think," she began, pausing to sniff and wipe her damp eyes with her knuckles. "I think that this is the perfect doctor's office for you just the way it is."

Toby's brow furrowed into a frown. "For once I can't tell if you're insulting me," he said, passing her a box of tissues.

Paige smiled as she gratefully took one, scrunching it into a ball before drying her face. Then her smile faded. "So, Doctor Curtis," she said, looking him in the eye. "Was Sylvester right yesterday? Am I really a bully?"

"OK, I think before we get too deep into this, we should just talk about Sly for a minute," replied Toby. "You've gotta remember, Sly's been the victim of bullying his whole life. Probably more than Walt, Happy and me put together. He was the tubby kid with glasses. The math geek. The chess nerd. And he was scared of everything. Some kid only had to drop a pencil on the floor behind him and he'd scream and run outta the classroom. They never left him alone. He's had more wedgies than you can imagine and because he's Sly he can remember every detail of each and every one."

Paige took a moment to think about Sylvester's childhood and wonder how anyone could have done those things to someone as kind and wonderful as him. "Kids can be so cruel," she acknowledged, sadly.

"Then there's his parents," continued Toby. "He's talked to me a lot about his childhood, but I know there are still things he keeps back. He's burying memories, I know he is and that ain't easy for him with the way his brain's wired."

"Oh, god, poor Sly," said Paige. "But, I don't understand? Does he really think of me like those kids who gave him wedgies? Or like his father who thought military discipline was the way to raise a gifted child?" Paige visibly paled at the thought that Sylvester could hate her that much.

"No," insisted Toby. "Not at all. What I'm trying to say is that whenever he sees something even remotely resembling anything that he went through, all those memories come flooding back and it triggers a defensive response."

"I get that Sly hates bullies, Toby, but so do I," Paige leaned forward as she spoke to emphasise her point. "Look, I admit the way I spoke to Florence was unacceptable, but I don't think it will affect her for the rest of her life."

"Of course it won't," confirmed Toby. "But, you need to think a little about why you spoke to her that way in the first place."

Paige leaned back in the chair again and sighed. "I think you already know why," she replied. "Walter's dream. I realise it wasn't her fault, but it still made me… I don't know… jealous I guess."

"Jealous pretty much covers it," confirmed Toby. "We already talked about this, Paige. Walter dreaming that Florence was his wife meant nothing romantic, yet you still turned into the green eyed monster because you can't bear the thought of him kissing another woman, even if it was only in his mind while he was comatose."

"You're right," acknowledged Paige, somewhat reluctantly. "But I'm over it now. It was silly."

"If you say so," replied Toby, knowingly.

"I do," Paige confirmed. "OK, so maybe I wasn't over it yesterday, but I am today. Florence and I made up. We nearly hugged."

"Hugged?" exclaimed Toby. "Hugging Flo must be like hugging a cardboard cut-out… of Flo."

Paige frowned. "Now who's not being nice to Florence?"

Toby held up his hands in resignation. "Let's get back to you," he suggested.

"Are you going to tell me if I'm a bully or not, Toby?" asked Paige. "Because you've skirted round the issue so far, so I can only assume you're going to tell me that I am and I don't…" her voice hitched.

"It's OK," Toby tried to reassure her. "This isn't a character assassination, I promise."

Paige drew a long breath. "But I've been thinking about everything Sylvester said and… I think he's right. I've turned into exactly the kind of person I despise and I didn't see it coming."

"Let's break this down a little," suggested Toby. "You're a very strong person, Paige. You've had to be because of all the crap you've had to deal with in your life. Your Mom, Drew, raising Ralph alone, not to mention waiting so long for Walt to figure out what the heck he was supposed to do with the feelings he had for you! All those things have made you who you are and believe me, who you are is an incredible person. There's no one I'd rather be standing behind in a fight. But, there's a thin, blurred line between being strong and, well, being a bully. Don't worry, I think you're still walking along that line, on tiptoe, in the fog, wearing really slippery shoes. OK, maybe I pushed that analogy too far."

"I don't feel strong," replied Paige, quietly.

Toby pondered her response for a second. "Interesting," he said. "How do you feel about the way you've dealt with the tough times in your life?"

"I… I just did what I had to do," she replied. "To protect myself, to protect my son. I had no choice."

"But you did have a choice," Toby corrected her. "You could have fallen apart, you could have given up, but you didn't. Your maternal instincts gave you the strength to fight for the most important thing in your life - Ralph."

"Ralph used to get bullied all the time," Paige said. "Not just by the other kids, the teachers too. No one understood him, they all thought he was backward, or just plain weird."

"And you stood up to those bullies," noted Toby. "You fought for Ralph, because he didn't know how to fight for himself back then. He didn't understand who he was. You didn't either, but you knew he was special."

Paige smiled. "I did," she agreed. "Then when I met Walter and you guys I knew Ralph had a home and a family here with Scorpion."

"And you didn't have to fight alone anymore," added Toby.

Paige nodded. "Standing up to the people who tried to tell me there was something wrong with my son doesn't make me a bully, though."

"No, it doesn't," agreed Toby. "But now you know Ralph is gonna be OK, those maternal instincts of yours are being redirected."

"I don't understand?" replied Paige. "Redirected where? Towards Sly?"

"No!" exclaimed Toby. "Towards Walter!"

"Toby, I thought you were a genius," said Paige with a frown. "Believe me, the feelings I have for Walter are not maternal."

"Oh, no, this isn't some kind of Oedipus thing," Toby clarified. "What I mean is that now you don't have to fight on Ralph's behalf so much, you're fighting for Walt instead. Your role in Walter's life has always been to help him fit into the world. Except in order for him to fit in he has to change. You didn't want Ralph to change, but you know Walter has to, or he'll never find his place. So sometimes when you're trying to help him, you can be a little… well, a little tough on One Ninety Seven."

"You think I bully Walter?" Paige looked horrified at the suggestion. "No! I love him, Toby!"

"We all know how much you love him!" replied Toby with a grin. "And I'm not calling you a bully, but maybe you should consider the way you speak to him sometimes. Just sometimes. We're not talking about anything like the kind of experiences Sly had at school, but all the same it's a part of your psyche that we can do a little work on."

Paige fell silent. She had never considered that her actions could be interpreted in that way before. "I… I just want to help him," she said eventually. Her voice was quiet and shaky as she fought back more tears.

"I know you do," answered Toby. "And Walter understands that too. Y'know, I think things have improved a lot since you two started playing Hide The U-Dog, or is that Hide The Centre Cut Meat Tube?" Toby waited for Paige to berate him for the U-Dog reference, but she didn't. "Paige, I'm seeing fear markers," he pointed out, realising now just how much this had affected her.

"What can I do?" asked Paige, her intonation clearly displaying her anxiety. "I want to change. Help me, Toby. Please!"

"Paige, don't panic," urged Toby. "This is easily fixable, I promise. You only have to make a few small changes to the way you approach very specific situations. It's not a big deal."

"Sylvester thought it was a big deal," noted Paige with a sigh. The last thing she wanted to do was upset Sylvester. Or Walter. Or anyone, even Florence. "Has he ever said this before? I mean, if this is a thing I do that I wasn't aware of and he's so sensitive to it, why didn't he call me out on it before?"

"You know Sly," replied Toby. "I don't think he really wanted to acknowledge that he recognised your behaviour until yesterday."

"Until I laid into Florence?" queried Paige. She was starting to wish Walter had never told her about his dream.

"Uh-huh," nodded Toby. "I think Sly might be a little more sensitive when it comes to Flo," he added with a wink.

"Why?" asked Paige.

"Because," grinned Toby. He rolled his eyes at Paige's puzzled look. "Come on, don't tell me you haven't noticed."

"I really have no idea what you're talking about," replied Paige.

"Sly's getting a thing for Flo!" exclaimed Toby.

"No, that's crazy," retorted Paige. "He's barely said two words to her since we met her."

"Exactly!" grinned Toby. "And why do you think that is?"

"Because she was cold and unapproachable when we first met her?" suggested Paige.

"That may have had something to do with it," admitted Toby. "But now she's starting to loosen up…" he left his sentence hanging.

"Well I don't see it," replied Paige.

"You're lucky I gave up gambling," noted Toby. "Because I'm so right about this."

Paige laughed. Then her face became more serious. "I should talk to Sylvester," she said. "I don't want there to be any awkwardness between us."

"I doubt there is, but I'm sure he'd appreciate a chat anyway," replied Toby. "Are you OK now?"

Paige nodded. "I guess," she replied. "I should probably book in a few more sessions though, right? I need to beat this bully."

Toby nodded. "I can help you, it really won't take long to crack your insecurities," he assured her. "So do you think you could sneak a couch and some mood lighting through the expense account?"

"No!" exclaimed Paige.

"Just the mood lighting?" offered Toby, optimistically.

Paige stood up. "I'll see what I can do," she promised. "Well this has been… interesting. I can't say I've enjoyed finding out about this side of my personality, but I guess I needed to hear it. So thank you."

"Scented candles?" suggested Toby, trying his luck.

"No!"

"That reminds me," said Toby, getting to his feet. "Do you still have your waitress uniform?"

THE END.


End file.
